Grace Undefined

I have always had very simple plans for my future. Find a job that I at least enjoy doing if not in love with was always first in my mind. Being a Pharmacy technician has been that job so far. I enjoy the work and the people. While there are bad days the good days more than make up for it. I have always seen myself living in my parents’ house and I plan to buy it from them when the time comes. I have also seen myself having children in this house just not always having a significant other in that house. Children have always been in my future plans. I never develop concrete ideas for my future. More like vague ideas of where I want to go and what I want to take with me. I have never planned to get a job where I make thousands of dollars a week. Just keeping that everything is paid for and maybe a little extra for a yearly vacation is more than adequate. That Vacation may not be in the Bahamas every year but that is perfectly okay.

Something that would twist my plans for my future would be if I met someone who could be “the One”. Every person talks about meeting that one person who completes them, that one person that lights up their world. I can honestly say that if I did meet someone who could do all of that for me I would be the most shocked person around. I have never put thought into what my other half would even be like. To meet that person should fill me with unimagined joy as far as I can tell. But that is only from what other people have told me about when they met their other half.

I have never thought of myself who can give so much of myself to someone else intimately like I feel would be necessary for me to get married or be in a permanent relationship. I couldn't even begin to plan what my life would be with someone who would mean so much to me in it. I see sharing my life with someone on such an intimate level like winning the lottery. Some people pray for it, others are convinced that one day it will happen while others view it as something that is never going to happen. While most people say everything falls into place once that person enters your life I see that I would have to change everything in my plans to some degree. Not because I had to, but because I would want to. I would want to make that person happy as I am sure they would want me to be happy. While I can see myself making the changes I would not be sure how much of it would be changes in my plans or in me.

I have accepted

Chance and change

And pushing of myself

To my limitation

I have

Accepted that when

I am given

Opportunity

It is alright

To take it

It is not selfish

Its acceptance

Things can occur and being

Given

Unselfishly

Are worth more

Than what I take

More than

what I want for

My own

That what I

Am given

But do not deserve

I am grateful for

I am accepting of

The forces that give it to me

I am thankful

For my family

Those who I have

Chosen and those

Who have chosen me

I am greatful

Future so Bright

Being happy is probably the most important thing that I can think of in my future. Everyone always says to do what makes you happy, so that is my plan. I can’t imagine being happy without my friends and family. They are a part of me that can’t be replaced. I also can’t imagine a future where there are not at least a million books. Whether I have written them or not reading has been a lifelong passion that I see enduring through my entire life time. I also want painting to be a major part of my future. I have developed such a love and appreciation to many different forms of art and painting just heads the top of the list. I have always seen myself otherwise having a fairly simple future. Spending my rainy days inside and watching it pour with a smile. Also, cats for company. Cats are just something that has always been in my home and a home without cats just seems strange. Just one or two is enough for rainy day company.  Though I can’t see myself ever getting married, I have always seen myself being a parent. While I won’t exclude finding a significant other, I know children are a big part of my future.

I see it now

Surrounding

The rain

The sun

The colors flowing

Surrounding

Forming into

Shapeless rainbows and shades

of color yet to be seen

Voices and people

Melding into the sounds of

Rain and thunder

And words piling around me

I smile isn’t washed under

The rain flowing

From the open window

The words on the page blur

But I close my eyes

And they are still there

Swirling in the colors behind my eyelids as the

Rain patters across my cheeks

as soft as kitten fur

Seeking, wanting attention

The pattering of

Rain soon

Joins the background of the symphony

of voices and laughter

An yelling that

Surrounds me

A controlled chaos

That sounds of

Light

Of joy

The sounds of my happiness

The sound of my home

A book by its cover

I have several activities that I am passionate including painting, drawing, and music. My biggest passions however, would probably being reading and definitely writing. I can spend hours, if I am allowed to, getting lost in the pages of a book. I love to imagine some of the ideas and places that are described in those works and I am always getting lost in my own, trying to put into words what I am seeing in my own mind. I would be more than content to do nothing more than get lost in those thoughts for hours and sometimes days at a time.

I would love nothing more than to be a fiction writer. While I do know that it would not be a viable way to make a living right at this moment it is something that I am not going to stop pursuing. That it is going to be difficult at first is something that only makes me want to try harder to become a published author. Also I also think that becoming an editor would be something that I would like to do in the future. While I know as an editor I have a potential to read some pretty horrible books along with some amazing ones I think it would be an amazing learn opportunity for me as a writer to read others works. To not only critic others to do their best in their writings, but to also see the different directions their writings and possibly my writing s could go in the future.

I want to encourage budding writers and to allow writers that have been working forever to still feel that love of writing. I don’t want to be a brow beating editor that crushes all creativity in a writer just to meet a deadline. I also don’t want to e an editor that is easily pushed over and allows horrible written material to be passed off as good. I want to allow writers to reach the full potential. I want to give he readers something that leaves reading for hours because they just can’t put the book down, not only from their favorite authors but by anyone who may read my works if and when they are published. I want any reader of whatever genre they are reading to be happy with the book and the author who wrote it.

 Red smearing across white

Hands flowing blindly
Filling in the spaces

Stopping at times
Uncertainty
Then swiftly dragging across

Hands dragging through hair
Pulling slightly
Before returning to their original place

Ruffling, shuffling, shifting
Hours passing 
Yet feeling like only moments

Eyes blurring
Hands dropping at last
The little end has occurred 

Stretching while standing
Tired and sore
It's only the first chapter

Note to self, use spell check next time.